Thursday, May 21, 2009

day dream believin

Sometimes my imagine gets the best of me. I imagine what my life would be like if I married Michael Tait. It's his smile that gets me.

I wonder what I would say the first time I talked to him. Would we know right off the bat that we were meant for each other? Would he find me terribly interesting and ask for my phone number? Would we call and email each other during the courting period..and would he stop and visit me on his way through the state.

Would our wedding be big and glamorous or small and intimate. After, would I go on tour with him. Would we hide in our house and just enjoy each other because we had the money to do that and we were so in love. When he would leave would my heart break into a million pieces because I would know that I couldn't see him for two weeks or a month.

As we grow old together we'd have a collection of inside jokes to get us through the hard times. We'd think back on his career and tell the stories to our grandkids.

See, getting the best of me again. I'm gonna go day dream about him singing me to sleep.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Suspended animation

For 8 years I’ve been doing the same thing over and over again. I go to work hang out with boyfriend, take care of my dad and now grandpa, lather, rinse, repeat.

I’m stuck.

If you asked me when I was 16 what my life would be like at 28 this certainly wouldn’t have been it. It would have involved lavish parties, serial dating and a cat. At 22 it would have involved being married and having children. I really felt like I had life planned out.

I feel like I’m at the starting line waiting for the gun to go off. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m in a rush. I just feel like something anything needs to happen. I realize that i'm only 28. But I feel like life passed me by somewhere along the line. Like I woke up at 28 years old but am still living the life of a 20 year old. I feel restless..i hate this feeling.

Maybe I just need to work out more. Maybe changing my body will help change my mind.I don't know..