Isn't funny how you can be hurt by something some says to someone else. Today I overheard a conversation between a couple people and one person said to the other “oh, that means your baby is smart”. Normally that wouldn't bother me. But today, maybe because it’s my girl time. Maybe it’s because I’m sick. Maybe it’s the placement of the moon. I’m not sure.. but today it stung. I walked out to my car in tears because my kid is smart. My kid is special. My kid is freaking awesome. Even if he didn't do something by a certain age or early.
We found out recently that Breckin is behind in some areas. When you’re told your child is developmentally delayed it really does a number on you. Your heart kind of drops to the floor for a little bit and every word the doctor says feels like she’s tapping dancing on it. You hold your breath as you watch your kid playing and being evaluated. Hoping he'll do something right and the doctor will say "oh, never mind. Get out of here you worry warts". But they don't. At the end of the appointment you pick your smushed heart up put it back into place and get ready for a new normal. The kind of normal that your friends don’t know about. The kind that makes you compare your sweet boy to other kids. Days go by and your heart starts to fill out again. You stop comparing. You see your child for the wonderful, adorable, sweet, gentle soul that he is. You celebrate the new things he’s doing. But then someone says something, something that doesn't have anything to do with you and suddenly it feels like your heart is once again being danced on.
Our new normal involves therapy. Lots of therapy. Trying to get Breckin caught up. It's tough, but I know it will benefit him in the long run. It will also involve toughening up our hearts. Knowing that we are going to hear tough things from doctors and people that don't understand or won't know. We will get used it. We are strong and besides, look how cute Breckin looks while doing PT.